This is what I think goes on through my dogs’ head while he’s having doggy thoughts.
Also featuring the Corgi Calvin, who we are dog-sitting.
Here I sit, inside, peering out at my domain. The back yard.
I remember each and every spot I have ever peed, so long as I am able to get a good sniff of the place, and I am content.
I sense a disturbance.
My sight hones in on the problem—my Person, The Boss, is petting the Interloper.
I sit up and start barking, wishing to go Outside and also get the pettings, and Boss Speaks.
I stop barking.
Tilt my head.
What was I…?
Oh, yes, the pettings. Calvin should not get all of the Boss’ pettings!
Boss is not moving, and so I take up barking again, wishing to Be Outside Right Now, and another of my People let me Out. It is the Cheese Man.
I wipe my nose on his hands in thanks and bound outside.
I must get to Boss, must get to pettings!
Boss calls out a greeting, and I no longer remember what I was looking for, what I was aiming to get…
Ah! There’s Calvin!
He pants and twitches his ears in my direction, and I pounce in his direction, my feet landing just short of his paws as I dip down into a stretch.
Boss gives me a pat on the head, and I dip my nose down to bop Calvin on his head.
He does not look impressed, so I do it again.
He makes what Boss calls his Gremlin Noise, which is actually Calvin saying Back Off. Or, well, when he’s directing it at me, that is.
I do not.
Because when Calvin makes that noise at Boss he means Pet Me, and I want that to happen to me, so while Boss’ fingers scratch Calvin on the short fur on top of his head, I sniff at his face and welcome Boss using her other hand to scratch me around my neck. It is a good scratching.
Calvin makes the Gremlin Noise louder when I lick his face and nose, and he snaps at me when I lick over his eye.
I do not understand why he will not play with me.
I jerk my face back form his, and consider him for a moment.
Play with me.
I bark right in his face. Right by his extra large ears, which I am not at all jealous of, not when Boss likes my own so much as to call them my ‘pigtails’, and Calvin turns and catches my whiskers in his mouth.
When I jerk back, he has a tuft of my fur in his mouth. I’m pretty sure this means he loves me.
I make a sad noise at him, and turn to Boss to find her smiling… Boss is happy! Boss is Happy! She is also close
She stops smiling when I lick her teeth, but then, when I lick Calvin’s mouth he stops smiling, too. Most dogs, I find, do not like me licking their mouths.
Most dogs also don’t like it when I lick their genitals, either.
I wonder when I will once again see Sadie.
I love Sadie.
Sadie’s Gremlin Noises were much more impressive than Calvin’s.
I wish Sadie were staying with us instead of Calvin.
Calvin is preoccupied with trying to get my fur from his mouth, so I curl myself around Boss’s feet.
It is not as comfortable as curling up in her lap, or even in curling up in the mysterious bed that showed up at the same time as Calvin—it even smelled like him, mysteriously enough, as it is obviously My Bed, the same way My Crate is My Crate…
Everything in the House is Mine.
It is My House.
I sigh, and am happy.