My Dog’s Thoughts

This is what I think goes on through my dogs’ head while he’s having doggy thoughts.

Also featuring the Corgi Calvin, who we are dog-sitting.

Here I sit, inside, peering out at my domain. The back yard.

I remember each and every spot I have ever peed, so long as I am able to get a good sniff of the place, and I am content.

I sense a disturbance.

My sight hones in on the problem—my Person, The Boss, is petting the Interloper.

Calvin.

I sit up and start barking, wishing to go Outside and also get the pettings, and Boss Speaks.

I stop barking.

Tilt my head.

What was I…?

Oh, yes, the pettings. Calvin should not get all of the Boss’ pettings!

Boss is not moving, and so I take up barking again, wishing to Be Outside Right Now, and another of my People let me Out. It is the Cheese Man.

I wipe my nose on his hands in thanks and bound outside.

I must get to Boss, must get to pettings!

Boss calls out a greeting, and I no longer remember what I was looking for, what I was aiming to get…

Ah! There’s Calvin!

He pants and twitches his ears in my direction, and I pounce in his direction, my feet landing just short of his paws as I dip down into a stretch.

Boss gives me a pat on the head, and I dip my nose down to bop Calvin on his head.

He does not look impressed, so I do it again.

He makes what Boss calls his Gremlin Noise, which is actually Calvin saying Back Off. Or, well, when he’s directing it at me, that is.

I do not.

Because when Calvin makes that noise at Boss he means Pet Me, and I want that to happen to me, so while Boss’ fingers scratch Calvin on the short fur on top of his head, I sniff at his face and welcome Boss using her other hand to scratch me around my neck. It is a good scratching.

Mmm.

Calvin makes the Gremlin Noise louder when I lick his face and nose, and he snaps at me when I lick over his eye.

I do not understand why he will not play with me.

I jerk my face back form his, and consider him for a moment.

“Woof!”

Play with me.

I bark right in his face. Right by his extra large ears, which I am not at all jealous of, not when Boss likes my own so much as to call them my ‘pigtails’, and Calvin turns and catches my whiskers in his mouth.

When I jerk back, he has a tuft of my fur in his mouth. I’m pretty sure this means he loves me.

I make a sad noise at him, and turn to Boss to find her smiling… Boss is happy! Boss is Happy! She is also close

She stops smiling when I lick her teeth, but then, when I lick Calvin’s mouth he stops smiling, too. Most dogs, I find, do not like me licking their mouths.

Most dogs also don’t like it when I lick their genitals, either.

Sadie didn’t.

I wonder when I will once again see Sadie.

I love Sadie.

Sadie’s Gremlin Noises were much more impressive than Calvin’s.

I wish Sadie were staying with us instead of Calvin.

Calvin is preoccupied with trying to get my fur from his mouth, so I curl myself around Boss’s feet.

It is not as comfortable as curling up in her lap, or even in curling up in the mysterious bed that showed up at the same time as Calvin—it even smelled like him, mysteriously enough, as it is obviously My Bed, the same way My Crate is My Crate…

Everything in the House is Mine.

It is My House.

I sigh, and am happy.

This is Gwynn when he's at his wooliest.  Also after he's had a chance to get at a puddle and wallow for a while...

This is Gwynn when he’s at his wooliest.
Also after he’s had a chance to get at a puddle and wallow for a while…

 

Did I Do It In My Sleep?

I am very confused. I haven’t really looked at my phone for a while (not really since I woke up, and that was looking for the snooze area of the screen), and I just realized something…

My background is different.

I do not understand this…

Especially since it is in the same style as my other backdrop (what it was before), and it requires the pressing of a good numbe of buttons to change things.

I will explain.

I downloaded a free app by Apofiss. Link to his/her deviantart page

It means that I can choose from a number of his/her artworks for my background, and it’s adorable.

What I had before was this

 

What I have now is this

I know that they are both cute…. but I don’t remember changing anything.

At all.

And to change the settings, you must press and hold the screen on my smartphone, choose live wallpapers, scroll down to the app and choose it, and then hit settings (on screen), and then scroll to the picture that you want.

It’s something that you would remember, correct?

And I don’t.

Now, I occasionally have sleeping problems.

And I don’t ONLY mean that I have trouble sleeping.

I talk in my sleep.

I walk in my sleep.

Occasionally I do other odd things in my sleep.

While I don’t remember doing such things myself, I have had a number of conversations with Lexy about how I shouted/conversed in my sleep.

She has told me of one night when I shouted out something about giving me my cup back.

Last time I was home, she and I and the rest of the family had a laugh about the fact that she woke up to me talking about something, and when she tried to tell me that she was sleeping, and couldn’t this wait until the morning? I snapped back “SHUT UP!” before falling silent myself.

One summer when Lexy was working in a park, whether this was her Ranger year or the following year I don’t remember, but the family went up to visit and stay in the park/neighboring park, and the place we were at was more of a lodge than a campsite, with a building with one larger bed and one bunk bed.

Emma and I had the bunk bed, and I managed to gain the top. The parents got the large bed.

This is important to the story. This isn’t just me lording to the internet blogging community that so and so many years ago, I won the top bunk from my sister.

But Mom told me one morning that I had slept walked… and then slept smacked her to wakefulness.

I had (according to her) crawled down the ladder, blankets trailing after me, walked across the little room to the large bed, and started patting down (read: smacking) that side of teh bed–the side she was on–muttering to myself that Emma had said that it was there, why would she say it was there, but she said it was there.

She told me to go back to bed when she realized what had happened, and I climbed back into the bunk and went back to non-walkin-or-talking sleep.

At rangers (ranger camp for 17 year olds, check it out), it was theorized that I was sleep walking, as I always had dirt in my bed no matter how careful I was of brushing all dirt from myself, and pretty much proven when one of the girls who slept in the room right by one of the doors saw me standing by the door, just ‘looking’ out the window.

It was later proven again when my roommate herself was bugged by me getting up, turning on the light, sitting on my bed for a bit, and then going to the bathroom and back before turning off the light and going back to bed. All without responding to her.

Always fun, but part of me thinks that perhaps I was just tired. Awake, aware, grumpy, but tired.

So I know that I have weird sleeping habits/patterns/whatever you want to call them, I’m just wondering if now I have gained some sort of sleeping technological understanding, and a wish for white fluffy kittens.

I don’t know.

I don’t even know why I’m really posting this, other than to show just how baffled I am at this… would you call it a turn of events? My last two posts were about disruptions in sleep…

I guess this is also to share with Lexy that weird sleeping habits are not restricted to Toronto or the woods… And now I’ve apparently (possibly?) upgraded to understanding how my phone works even in sleep.

Thoughts?

*Bonus* I also had this one up for a while

*edit* It could also be a glitch in the app. Just a possibility. Didn’t want to rule that one out.

But it goes “MLEEEGH”

I like sheeps.

Dem sheepsies love me too.

I understand why people would say that hey like certain animals, but I have to say that the small, wool wearing beasties (no, not Hobbitses) are my favourite.

I also like cows.

Yes I like dogs, and cats, but of the animals that you DON’T see almost every day, I have to say sheep and cows.

Bovine and ‘Baaaa’-vine, even though most sheep don’t actually say ‘baa’ but something closer to “MLEEEGH”, both are divine to me 😀

They’re just so cute, and cows run like I’d imagine a table would run (if it could run), and sheep are awesome enough to have a part in one song by Cake (Sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell).

"Do you think she knows that Tables can't run?" "Well, she seems to think that baked goods can compose songs, so I dunno...." "True dat, true dat..." "Don't you mean 'Moo dat?'" "Funny, Moo-erfluffer"

What’s your favourite non-conventional animal? Llamas are good too as many of you might be thinking, but Llama is becoming ven more conventional, conventional enough to have it’s own short-form (ftl or French the Llama)