Juice Before I Murdered Them

Yet another post about my craptastic roommates, and I know that some of you are going to be like “Pfft, whatever, it’s just juice” but I get more than a little pissed off when my stuff is opened and eaten without my knowing!

Yes this is about Juice. It wasn’t a typo in the title.

My parents came down to Ottawa to visit last weekend, as it’s March Break for most people in (not university) schooling, and they were nice enough to take me shopping at the local Metro (grocery store).

They bought me bread, they bought me ham and a variety of cheese, crackers, they also were smart enough to get me some heavy things, things that are more awkward to carry home.

Such as Milk and Juice.

Juice is something I love.

Other people are like “hey, I’ll have some milk and cookies.”

I am like “Hey, sure I’ll have some cookie–OHMYGOD! Is that JUICE?”

Juice lasts longer than milk, it comes in more flavours than milk, it comes in little boxes that DON’T have to be refrigerated, it is a part of my childhood that I have dragged, kicking and screaming, into adulthood.

While my friends were wasting money buying pop, I brought a number of juice boxes to school.

Because one juice box isn’t enough. Nope.

And my friends came to appreciate this, as I keep more than just two, on the not so off-chance I’ll be hanging out after school for longer than anticipated.

It wasn’t as odd as it sounds that they could ask, with some certainty that I would be able to deliver, if I had a juice box for them.

So my roommates OPENING (as in, it was sealed) and DRINKING (as in, I wasn’t the first to drink) about half of the 1.89L of MY JUICE (blood orange, if you’re wondering), just know that I am outraged.

Just about as outraged when I found that they had eaten all of my cheese.

I’m not sure what I’m more angry about, but I am pissed >:  (

And, if they eat all my cheese again on TOP of this, I am going to kill them.

Maybe after spiking all their food with laxatives.

Assholes…

I am just about ready to go to war with them at this point in time, and I will not be held responsible for damage to their food.

Doom shall come to those who come between me and my food…

They haven’t yet made moves against my meat (wow, that sounds vaguely sexual :S), and I am only going to say that they don’t because they don’t know if I’ll be using it for a meal or how long it has been in the fridge.

They certainly don’t pay attention to their own food… I had to, a couple of months ago, throw out a large Tupperware of sausages.

They were already white and fizzy, and were growing blue.

If they do ever eat my meat products (or more cheese, or more juice), then I am going to have a full on hissy fit.

A temper tantrum of epic proportions.

It will not be limited to expressing my anger through blog-form.

Oh, and if they ever tried stealing one of my jars of home-made salsa…

On a more cheerful (and less murderous) note, Mom and Dad seemed to have fun, staying Sat-Tues, and when I had to leave the to their own devices for a bit on Monday while I reviewed/studied, They went on a tour to the Parliament Buildings. I also ended up taking three showers in two days, as I took advantage of the saltwater pool at the Minto Suites my parents stayed at. I also ate spring rolls with plum sauce (that had wasabi mixed into it) that made me want to cry, as I’ve been eating more cafeteria food in an attempt to use up my meal plan.

To the family who reads this, I love you! To everyone else, I love you too! Just not as much as I love my family 😉

Bonus: Delicious foods and instructions to make delicious food, good for runners and “green smoothies” HERE

Bloody Mary: The weirdest massage ever

I’ve heard of a number of massages, and the weirder ones are usually the ones that sound the most painful.

The idea that people pay to have someone slap them around and thump them to get knots out of their muscles is weird to me, as is the idea of placing hot stones over your joints, but obviously it works, otherwise it wouldn’t be popular.

Acupuncture as a form of massage (or other relief, I don’t know what you would call it) makes me curious even as it makes me shiver.

As a side note, why is it, in cartoons, acupuncturists always seem to have poison needles as well as normal needles? And why must they place the two boxes side by side?

Moving on.

Through reading manga (Lexy, Mom, I’m taking a BREAK from studying, sheesh…) (a yaoi romance HERE if you’re curious, explicit just to warn you) I saw mention of a weird massage.

I thought that Bloody Mary was only a drink, but apparently not.

Someone somewhere decided that it was a good idea to make it into a massage as well. Or a wrap. It involves doing both as far as I understand

Yes, it has vodka involved.

And many tomatoes.

I’m not going to go too much into it, as I am still mostly baffled as to why someone would decide to make this into a massage (though, like acupuncture, I am fascinated and curious and kind of maybe want to try it)

You can read another blog HERE about more details. Apparently it makes your skin really smooth as well, and gets the blood pumping (due to vodka, and you don’t even drink it!)

I just thought it was weird.

I didn’t really think that people used so much food in such ways outside of that one episode from The Weekenders (cartoon I loved watching) where the ever-changing Pizza Place was a spa, and they had Cheese wraps (actually wrap them up) and pepperoni slices to place over their eyes.

Speaking of cheese, For those who have read about my complaints about my Roommates (here here and here), an update. They ate all of my cheese. It was a big block of it. They ate it all.

This is unacceptable.

I just want them to stop eating my stuff... Is that too much to ask for?

So yeah, weird massage/wrap sharing and profound sadness over cheese thieves.

My life.

😀

A Joke to Sanity and Insanity.

Me: Okay, you’re a bus driver.

Sanity: I don’t have the required license, and I wouldn’t trust her behind the wheel.*looks skeptical*

Insanity: *grins* Ahahaha! Carry on. *Serious look*

Me: whatever. You’re the driver of a bus, and 10 people come on.

Sanity: okaaay…

Insanity: WAIT!

Me: What?

Insanity: *serious* Does the bus have four wheels…?

Me: Um, yes…?

Insanity: …Of cheese?

Sanity writes that down. I think for a moment.

Me: Yes, someone brought on 4 wheels of cheese onto the bus. CONTINUING! At the next stop, 3 people get off, and 7 people get onto the bus.

Sanity: Were there any people on the bus initially? Before the first 10 people came on?

Insanity: Did the person with the cheese get off?

Me: No, no one was on the bus in the beginning, and yes, the person with the cheese left.

Sanity nods.

Insanity: Ah. Continue.

Me: At the next stop, another 3 people get off, and… 13 people get on. At the next stop, 1 person gets off, and 7 people get on, at the next stop, another 2 people get off and 11 people get on, and at the next stop 3 people get off and a crowd of 16 gets on.

Insanity: Wow, popular bus isn’t it? and that’s AFTER the cheese lady gets off… how strange… *Shakes head* What’s the world coming to?

Me: um, okay… I’m going to finish this joke soon… um–

Sanity: Before you continue, please realize that most busses can hold 52 to 56 people at once. The current passenger count is– *checks notebook*–52.

Me: Um, okay?

Sanity: I’m simply making sure you’re keeping count. It’s important you know.

Me: Um… Okay there. It’s just a joke, calm down…  then three people get off, and another two people get on. Now I have one question for you.

Sanity waits patiently, while Insanity tries to peek at Sanity’s notebook for the answer.

Me: What colour is the Bus Drivers eyes?

Sanity blinks. Insanity is still trying to look at her notebook. Sanity thinks for a while. Finally:

Sanity: …Blue.

Insanity: What??? How could you know that???!?! *outraged* EEEEHNN! Wrong! *Insanity starts to count her fingers silently, lips moving*

Me: um, actually Sanity got the joke, you see I said–

Insanity: HAH! No, it’s a trick question! Trying to fool me like that, what do you take me for? Do you think I’m crazy or something?

Sanity: Yes.

Me: How do you figure that?

Sanity turns to a new page in her notebook and raises a pen, ready for the answer.

Insanity: Well how are we supposed to know what kind of pen the bus driver writes with? Hmm?

Me: what?

Sanity: What do writing utensils have to do with the question?

Insanity shoves a hand down the front of her shirt, rummages for a moment, and pulls out a handful of pens held together by an elastic band.

Insanity: Look, I use red pens for my ‘a’s and a green pen for my ‘u’s and this pretty orange one for my ‘x’s, but how am I supposed to know what colour to use for the ‘i’s? Hmm? That changes CONSTANTLY!

Me: what?

Sanity takes a deep breath after she finishes writing.

Sanity: When she said eyes, she meant eyes like what you use to look at things, mot ‘I’s like written letters. The joke is to make you forget that she said that YOU were the bus driver, and that you know your own eye colour.

Me: What?

Insanity blinks at Sanity before giving Me a strange look.

Insanity: Well how the hell would you expect anyone to figure THAT out?

Me: O_O…

-~-~-~-~

As you can see, sometimes I can’t keep up with either my Sane or Insane sides…

I haven’t written about these two for a while, thought I’d remind you all of them.

Also, I’ve figured out that there aren’t only two rooms in my head, there are three. One side for Sanity, the other for Insanity, and one in the middle as neutral (Me) territory. That way Insanity and Sanity don’t have to invade each others turfs, and therefore affect each other… No, they leave all that to me.

*sigh*

Good luck to all Nano-ers, and as an experienced Nano-er, listen to your Insane sides and let them loose on the page, but let your Sane sides help keep you from putting off working on it or from making a detour from your plan of having this character or that character introduced or killed off. (Insanity likes killing off characters, especially the ones you have due to necessity rather than like)

Also let Sanity into your life to tell you what time you should go to bed. Sanity is regularly poking me and telling me that if I want to get at least 7 hours of sleep, I should go to bed NOW. You won’t always listen (especially in November), but sleep is good and a great way to let your mind wander around Sanity and Insanity’s rooms without getting scared back to your own room. I’m not participating this year as I’m being… *sigh* RESPONSIBLE and dealing with school work over writing. Fanfiction.net followers know of what I am doing to replace that. Check out It’s Green on my profile, same username on ffn.net to see my replacement.

Everyone Wish a GOOD LUCK to Lexy0387 this year in her quest for NaNoWriMo dominance, and suggest things to buy Gwynn to distract him that WON’T be bitten in half and swallowed within the first 5 minutes 😀

Ciao