Mixed Feelings.

So I talk about my stories a bit more than would probably be considered ‘cool’, but it’s interesting, and I have a good number of people who are pretty much my ‘following’ on the internet, who I recognize their pennames and message back and forth with them. 

It’s just a thing, that’s all. 

So I have internet friends who talk to me most when I post new chapters (conditional friendship? Yes, but I don’t exactly read their stories if they have them up…), but regularly get reviews and comments from other people. 

(Shocker)

And most times it’s pretty positive things, and that’s fantastic, and sometimes it’s just a “Good job! Update soon!” bit of almost-whatever that doesn’t tell me much, and sometimes I get these amazing paragraphs of insight. 

Sometimes paragraphs of ‘Okay, this was good, here’s my thoughts on it, some good some bad’ and sometimes that’s even better than the reviews full of nothing more than amazement at my godly ability to write and sometimes make people cry and laugh. 

But fairly recently I got a review that I had mixd feelings on. 

Less so now, but it gave me a variety of feels, so Imma talk about it. 

In my story “And I Wake Up” (A Torchwood Season 3 fix-it, because if you’re into Torchwood and have seen the end of Season 3, you know it needs fixin’) (Summary in link, check it out) my most recent chapter (4) has a part where my mc (Main Character) goes a bit insane. 

This is understandable due to the fact that he keeps getting shot. 

The reviewer said that perhaps I should have a warning for torture, or graphic violence since (s)he had to skim through it, and it was more disturbing due to the somewhat temporary body issues my mc has, and this is what has me conflicted:

It’s not graphic. 

The ‘graphic’ part is “He raised his arm and pulled the trigger” with mad ravings in between. 

Okay, there is some finger biting, and that could be graphic, so I understand that, but without copying the review here it was the shooting that was the reviewer’s problem. 

I included a trigger-warning (haha, puns) in both my archive of our own (or Ao3) post and my fanfiction.net post, because you know what? Far enough. I don’t agree at all wit the graphicness thing, or at least not with what the reviewer was categorizing as ‘graphic violence’ but it could be that I have a different outlook on what consists of ‘graphic violence’

You may ask at this point, where be the mixed feelings matey? (if you’re a pirate)

Well… 

Part of me is delighted that my writing impacted this person so much that they had to skim. 

And then I get a bit angry that they’re missing on so much insight in the skimming part, but then I kind of swing back into delight because HELLO! I wrote something intending for it to be maybe a bit disturbing and worrying and someone read it and found it VERY disturbing! That’s a writing VICTORY!

So much success!

I get super excited when people get extreme feelings from my writing, you have no idea. 

I’m practically giggly when someone admits through a comment or review that some part of my writing made them cry, and part of me is happy because it means my own getting emotional (and crying myself) over the scene was super effective, and the rest of me is ecstatic because I MADE YOU FEEL SOMETHING WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION! 

Especially since I’m pretty sure most of my stories are feel-good kind of stories. So hearing that my stories upset some part of you is amazing in a way that is so, SO conflicting!

It’s like you’re telling me that your dog or cat of gerbil died… and then you won the lottery. 

I just don’t know what to focus on. 

So this review saying that they enjoy my story, “oh and here’s a suggestion because you gave me unexpected feelings” is just.. 

GAH!

It’s ridiculous how much I enjoy feedback, positive or negative (edit: yes I do like negative feedback, but only if you’re constructive. I don’t appreciate “YOU SUCK JUST BECAUSE! BLAGH!” feedback, because then you’re an ass and I just can’t appreciate farts). 

But then, it’s a bit like dog owners who say ‘thanks’ when someone says how pretty their dog is (Lexy.)

(That thanks is ridiculous no matter how you try to rationalize it.)

But I made the story, I had it’s plot-lines percolating in my mind for months before I got down to writing it, and it’s fantastic having people say “Hey, you did good, I look forward to more! Cheers!”

So yeah, mixed feelings. 

Anyone else? 

No? 

I’m just crazy…? 

Well, Cheers anyway 😀

 

 

Google Verb! A Meme.

Okay, I have been going on a somewhat Vlogbrothers Marathon in between studying (which is why it’s somewhat), and I came across THIS VIDEO. All Links will open in a new window.

The idea is something that Ive sort of done before, but this time instead of answering questions about yourself using your iPod/whatever music player you use (see what I mean HERE), this uses Google.

Yes, the sometimes broken fountain of information… It will tel you things about yourself 😀

The idea (for those of you who are unwilling or unable to watch this less than 4 minute video) is that you put in YOUR NAME (not the words, just your actual name) and a VERB.

The questions to ask Google are:

Q: Type in “[your name] needs” in the Google search.

Q: Type in “[your name] looks like” in Google search.

Q: Type in “[your name] says” in Google search.

Q: Type in “[your name] wants” in Google search.

Q:Type in “[your name] does” in Google search.

Q: Type in “[your name] hates” in Google search.

Q: Type in “[your name] asks” in Google search.

Q: Type in “[your name] likes ” in Google search.

Q: Type in “[your name] eats ” in Google search.

Q: Type in “[your name] wears ” in Google search.

Q: Type in “[your name] was arrested for” in Google Search.

Q: Type in “[your name] loves” in Google Search.

Because I don’t particularly want to put my name up on the internet, I’m going to do two parts to this. They will be one question right after another, but I will be putting two answers down. Bold will be Doodle. Doodled93 only goes to link with my username. Will still say full username on this though. Regular will be my name. Now let’s get to it.

Doodled93 needs to share buttons. No. They are mine. 

I need sleep. Yeah, no really. But I think i’ve been getting better at sticking to my sleeping shedule

Doodled93 looks like the poodles transformed into pandas. I’m an extremely smart dog with a somewhat bad grooming rep who  changed into an animal that is so dedicated to eating something that it can’t digest properly that it developed a fatty thumb-like protuberance so that it could eat it easier. Lexy, try and figure that one out 😀

I look like I’m praying. Lots of Mr. Darcy and D’Arcy names here, mostly male references. I am not male. I am also not religious. Meh.

Doodled93 says Happy Holidays. Cheerful.

I say no shake-up needed. Can Anyone explain that to me?

Doodled93 wants you to buy this 100 yen shit from China. There was also wants you to try Google plus.. I’m not, really, actually trying to market things.

I want to be friends on Facebook. Sure. I guess. Look me up as ‘Doodled Fiction’ I guess. Made it for ffn.net

Doodled93 does frequently asked questions. I frequently ASK questions… I wonder how many people have asked the same then?

I do it again. … Okay.

Doodled93 hates water. This was a cat video. I’m rather fine with water, and bathing, and swimming actually. When i’s frozen it’s a lot of fun 😀

I hate my life this week. Not exactly cheerful, but it IS midterm week. Close enough.

Doodled93 asks you to solve puzzles. Mostly just talk about my own though.

I ask to Marry you. This is commonly all together with “That awkward moment when Mr. {my name} asks to marry you”

Doodled93 likes small spaces. Um, okay? 

I like everything. Apparently I do not discriminate. 

Doodled93 eats UK work time. Another option was dinner 😀 I wonder how many people in the UK read this and go “hm… not really”

I eat food. Fascinating.

Doodled93 wears a dress. Lexy is laughing now. I don’t wear dresses that often, and it was hardly four years ago that I had convinced people that I would never wear dresses. I once convinced a girl in my class that I was allergic to the colour pink.

I wear clothing designed by Arianne Phillips. Important? Not really to me. 

Doodled93 was arrested for doodling on school desk. Can this actually happen? Yes, apparently. Schools should have gotten a hint from ‘my’ name. 

I was arrested for Horsing around. Really? Frig…

Doodled93 loves to dance. O_O Really. I have no sense of coordination when it comes to dancing. I love to dance in my mind, where no one can see.

I love to paint! Ok, awesome 😛 Much more realistic than dancing 😀

And that is it.

What does Google have to say about you?

Meet the Engineer

I know I mentioned a while ago that at one point in my high school career (read: 3.3/4 years) that I wanted to be an engineer.

Engineering is a bit of a joke in university, and when I was going around on tours to different universities FOR Engineering, I even heard a couple of people joking about how Engineering is the thing to sign up for if you’re good at math and science, but don’t know what you want to do.

For those reading this and shaking their heads, well, for those who don’t know what to do and re average at their school work, they sign up for General Arts.

For those who don’t know what they want to do but are good at English, you go into English.

For those who don’t know what they want to do but are good at art of some kind, they go into the specialty of that Art.

There are other examples that I could use, but I think the point has gotten across.

By the way, I DO know what I want to do at this point, which is WHY I went into Visual Arts. I want to restore art in museums… and recently I found out that there’s a burgeoning job pool for restoring old film.

But back to what I was saying…

My sister has told me over the course of the years that I wanted to be an Engineer that the Engineering department is the butt of a lot of jokes.

It is.

But she has also told me that the Engineers are the real party-ers, and has mentioned over the years that SHE studied to be an engineer that if one looked at the ratio between males to females… well…

There are a lot of guys. I think at one school I heard that last years engineering first years had only 17% female number.

I know a good couple of engineers here, but I don’t see them that often since there’s such a difference between our schedules.

But something else occurred to me recently, as one of my friends was raving about a favourite game of hers.

It’s a bit sexist sounding, but more males play video games than girls, on average.

I’m only saying ON AVERAGE.

I know plant of girls who play video games. I play video games. Now that I’m REALLY thinking on it, most of the people I know are female and play video games.

But back to what I was trying to say.

A friend plays this game, Team Fortress (1 and 2) a lot, and since I’m limited to what I can play by what my friends have while I’m at their home and by what I can find to play that I can play on a computer, I haven’t played this.

But she ‘ships’ a lot of the characters. Look it up, it’s circling the word ‘fandom’ in those-who-know-it’s mind.

So, I looked it up, saw that it looked amusing, and noticed that you could see these little clips for Team Fortress 2 as character introductions.

The ones I’ve heard the most of were Heavy and Medic, but I’ve also heard of Spy and Scout and Soldier too. But I found out about a character that I hadn’t heard of before…

And I don’t know why nobody has mentioned the guy to me yet.

The Engineer…

I freely admit that I’m writing this post right now so that I could show this to Lexy, and I’m writing now that if you (Lexy) don’t watch this short, less than 2 minute long clip, I will be very disappointed in you. Very much so. This made me laugh in ways that made me think, oh god, Lexy would love this, she’d get a real kick out of it, it’s so kind-of cliché but in such a way that it’s also kind of right in some cases…

Brings me back to a different kind of Engineering cliché, where we planned during our Creek Valley Adventure to move a not-log across the little stream-creek part we had such difficulty with, that we were going to make a bridge… just because. (P.S. look up my username on YouTube and see the sped up full version, will all of the film I shot during this Adventure)

I believe I mentioned that “It was [Lexy’s] Engineering instincts acting up”

But this video here made me think about how awesome Engineering actually is, even though it’s from a game, but because it’s cliché because that’s pretty much the mind of an Engineer.

I think it was an engineer who decided so-and-so many years ago that, instead of going around the canyon every time they wanted to get to a point, they would make their own path… a bridge.

Engineers are a rare creature indeed, that they will do an immense amount of work in order to be lazy.

That’s where cars come from.

And as much as I would like to leave this there, with that last line being the punch line, I would like to go further to point out that it was an artist who figured out the whole moving pictures deal, and engineers worked on TOP of that to bring you the television and, later, the computer. Also Video Games. 😀

Both of which are even bigger icons of laziness.

Yay Art.

ERTW (Engineers Rule The World) may be true, but Arts students are the uuber creative Mafia underneath it all.

Doodled93 aka Tall Sister

Hey all!

This is Tall Sister (known from Lexy0387’s Gone for a Walk), but  more commonly known as Doodled93 at fanfiction.net, wattpad.com, and fictionpress.com, and probably other, future writing venues. Yes, for those of you who know, I am indeed the one who helped savagely prepare a duck last February during our family’s Hogswatch, (you can also look it up in the Terry Pratchett Wiki) I am the one who takes a good portion of the rather, if I do say so myself, glorious/gorgeous pictures for the blog (though, yes, a lot of them are found online as well)…

If you know me from any of the other writing venues (more likely in fanfiction I believe), you will know (or not, depending) that I have major issues holding personal work and proffessional work hand in hand, in equality, and more often than not end up freaking out about updating a story because I was finishing an assignment/essay, or freaking out about how I should have been working on that assignment/essay instead of that new chapter that I just posted.

Yes, my life really IS just THAT fun.

Hmm, I only really decided to try for one of these blog things because I’ll be going to some university next year (I have two that are my main goals, with one that I’ve already been accepted to), and it’ll be an interesting way to remember everything, and possibly keep my family updated when I’m shoulders deep in various paints and mediums and don’t have clean enough hands to contact thet ‘rents. I’m sure Lexy can at least be the go-between, unless she goes all Lex Luthor due to creepy men at work 😀 Love you Lex *mwah*

Hmm, I just had a thought about what if any of my friends found this… I may actually send them a link, but while I’m at the same school?… perhaps not…

Sad thing is that a good number of my buds know what my username is, if only because they’ve seen me signing review responses with ~Doodled93~ , so now I’m kind of contemplating changing the username… great way to start a blog eh?

Sadly, unlike my lucky sisters, my name doesn’t shorten to anything really great (and no, I have a rather unique name, so whatever you’re thinking my name is it’s probably wrong), or anything that can be written with people looking at it, squinting, and trying to sound it out while giving it weird accents (I know this for a FACT from experimentation) and getting a result like a body part of an underwater creature.

When I was in middle school though, the secretary had a bit of a funny sort-of English accent, and it mangled my name just that little bit  any time that she called me down to the office (and no, it didn’t hapen THAT often). It sounded a lot, up till 8th grade (when she finally got her mouth around it), like she was calling for Danny _(insert my last name)_, and it confused most of the permanent teachers at the best of times.

At the worst of times, substitute teachers would inform the secretary (over my protests that no, she was talking about ME) that there was no Danny _(insert my last name here)_ in this class.

So perhaps I can go by Danny, or Dani, or some other clever letter change of the name Danny… I don’t know. Thoughts on this?

Oh, also, the link to this will probabl change later, once I figure out something a bit more appropriate than “Drawn in and Quartered” with it’s lousy artistic (and slightly violent) pun.

Ciao~

~Doodled93~