Black Cat Analogy? For my own use…

I just found this:

Black Cat Analogy

It’s very clever, but I was thinking, what about for me?

When I was little we had two cats, one creme with orange tips to his ears and tail (Eric), and a sort of purplish grey cat with a black face, ears, tail, legs,feet…

Yeah. Now we have this guy.

Gwynn in Snow 2011

So I decided perhaps it would also make sense if I were to adjust this to a Fluffy Pale Dog Analogy…

So then.

To set the scene, you’re out with your fluffy pale dog, enjoying the snow as it falls, and you’re letting him romp around in the snow…

PHILOSOPHY is sort of like, while on this walk, your dog (Let’s call him Gwynn) bounds off into the surrounding wooded area, and you lose sight of him. You can hear him though, and try spotting him by following the sounds.

METAPHYSICS is like if, on your walk, Gwynn runs over to the other side of a hill and is out of sight, and you call for him because you can’t hear him anymore. Then, when you go to follow where you last saw him go (and you’re sure he isn’t there anymore, as you’ve already called his name in varying tones of excitement and command), there is movement from the corner of your eye, and you can feel low in your heart that what comes back isn’t going to be your fluffy dog, but a slicked down dog who has found something to roll in…

(That thing was dead and half melted despite the snow)

THEOLOGY is like losing sight of Gwynn, and calling for him, and you see movement, and out from the scraggly underbrush comes–! An entirely different dog.

What? That’s not Gwynn!

SCIENCE is like getting tired of calling for Gwynn, he’s obviously found something interesting to sniff and/or roll in, so you start running, treats in hand. Surprise, surprise, Gwynn comes, and is more likely to come back again, because he knows you’re packin’ that dried liver he loves so much.

Yeah. Just a bit of fun 🙂  Maybe I’ll add more pictures to this later.

Answers From Randomized Music

Hey all! I challenge you to complete this test, because this can be really funny 😀 (This means you Lexy)

I saw this on another’s profile, and thought it would be interesting to try 😀 I used my phone, as I have all my music on it.

iPod About You Test.

1] Put your iPod/MP3/iTunes, et cetera on shuffle.

2] For each question, click the next button to get your answer.

3] You must write that song down no matter how silly it sounds.

4] The artist of the song goes in brackets (]) next to the song.

5] You can put any comments in parentheses next to the song.

6] Put it on your profile.

~~~

What would you say about your boyfriend/girlfriend?

Drunken Lament [Ludo]

(I hope that this means that any future boy/girlfriend of mine will be funny and someone who I listen to when I want to cheer up, not that I’ll be sad and drunk with them… or that he/she/I will be drunk and needy through the relationship)

What is the first thing you say in the mornings?

Love Cats [The Cure]

(I wish I could have a cat [ALLERGIES]… but usually my first thing I say is “mph…” or “NNNNnnnnnnnn….” If I’m feeling REALLY unwilling to get up)

Your teacher is…

Breakaway [Kelley Clarkson]

(I would like to get away from ONE of my teachers… Will deal though :D)

What’s written on your class’s blackboard?

Here without you [3 Doors Down]

(considering a good portion of my classmates only show up occasionally, that’s funny 😀 They’ll never see the message)

How would you describe your neighbors?

A Moment like this [Various Artists]

(They haven’t eaten any of my stuff since I got back, so I’ll assume it’s a happy thought… unless it’s about how some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this, and could have gone another lifetime without someone you don’t know or really like eating your food)

What would your best friend say about you?

Riot [Three Days Grace]

(… 😀 I’ll take that as more fun than dangerous or sketchy)

How do you feel right now?

Just Because [Jane’s Addiction]

(Well, that’s as good an answer as “I dunno” or a shrug… or even “fine.” Amused would also work right now :D)

What’s on your bedside table right now?

Memory [Cats]

(Yes I have Cats {musical} music… and I guess memory would work. Aloe plant I finally remembered to ask for, a fork and two spoons I need to remember to clean up, and a variety of pills to make sure I don’t get scurvy or anything :D)

What did you do when you woke up this morning?

Step Into a World [Dance Much 1997]

(Wow, rather poetic there… ) {also could be [Much Dance 1997]*shrugs*}

When you open your wardrobe you see…

Numb [p!nk]

(I still have a lot of my clothes in my suitcase from over the break 😛 “Like the coldest winter I am frozen from you… you make me so numb” very little clothing in there :D)

What did you say after you last attended a concert?

Cut the Curtains [Billy Talent]

(Perhaps code for “GET BACK HERE! ENCORE!”)

If you had to write a Twilight fanfiction right now, what would it be titled?

Woo Hoo [Kill Bill Volume 1]

(What’s this? Is my phone gaining sarcasm? Because though I write fanfiction, I believe that if I was made to write a Twilight ffn my family would be able to figure out how happy about it I would be :P)

A song you would sing at your school’s talent show is…

Love Train [Big and Rich]

(Hah! That’s fun :P)

Your life’s theme song would be…

Whatsername [Green Day]

(Ouch, but understandable 😛 Not many people remember my name (difficult name to remember—it’s odd) and I’m not the kind of person to slap you in the face with my personality 😀 But I hope that in regards to the lyrics, I’m someone who you’d regret not keeping in touch with)

How would you describe what you are doing right now?

Colossal [Wolfmother]

(Not that big a deal actually :D)

If you had to go and jump off a building, what would your last words be?

I love you [Barenaked Ladies]

(Aw, my phone has a sense of humour and can be sweet. It would be sweet that those would be my last words, but I’d prefer to say them while NOT taking my own life… Way to show that I love my family—I’m just going to put them through severe emotional trauma. A boy wouldn’t be worth it.)

Your motto is…

Dogs and Champions [Mighty Mighty Bosstones] (:D I don’t know quite how bad this makes me seem…)

If you could buy anything in the world, you would buy…

Covered in Cowardice [Billy Talent]

(I guess true… I wouldn’t know what to buy 😀 I’m fine wimping out of the decision :P)

What did you dream about last night?

Amsterdam [Coldplay]

(Amsterdam is beautiful, and has gorgeous buildings and a fascinating history. I would like to go there one day.)

If someone says “Is this okay?” you say…

Don’t Go Knockin’ On My Door [Britney Spears]

(Wow, if my ‘motto’ doesn’t make me seem a bit of a bitch, this does… But then again, unless it’s directly involving me, I have no responsibility towards others decisions. I can give my opinions, but I didn’t force them to do anything, so Britney is right :P)

How would you describe yourself?

Rebel Yell [Billy Idol]

(Right, rebellious 😛 And yelling… I’m just soooo loud. )

What do you look for in a guy/girl?

Love me Do [The Beatles]

(Also, ‘I Want to Hold Your Hand’The Night Before’ we ‘Come Together’, ‘Oh! Darling’, ‘I Want You’, ‘I Need you’, with you ‘I feel fine‘Eight Days a Week’, because in ‘The End’All you Need is Love’… I can be romantic and use Beatles songs too 😀)

How do you feel today?

Champagne for my real friends, Real pain for my Sham friends [Fallout boy]

(Didn’t I already answer this? Oh, it’s today, not right now… Does this mean I want to drink with my friends? That’s a yes, but it’s Monday and I have class early tomorrow:D)

What is your life purpose?

Behind these Hazel eyes [Kelly Clarkson]

(Which makes sense because I have blue eyes… maybe my life purpose is to get people to actually notice things… fits with my visual art classes)

What is your motto?

Littlest Things [Lily Allen]

(Littlest things, notice them good or bad… and yet another question I thought I answered… well at least this one is a little nicer :D)

What do your friends think of you?

Always where I need to be [The Kooks]

(Aww… sweet, and now I’m tempted to send this to my friends… maybe not :P)

What do your parents think of you?

Home [Three Days Grace] (I’ll take the title as the answer rather than the lyrics , unless they’re planning on leaving me the house :P)

What do you think about a lot?

Name [Goo Goo Dolls]

(??? Um, sort of true I guess??? I remember mentioning to my friends at some point that I sometimes don’t like my name, and they suggested I use one of my middle names instead, but I think Elizabeth and Rose would be weird to go by as well :P)

What do you think of your best friend?

My Humps [Black Eyed Peas]

(Wow. I really don’t 😛 But the rules say post it regardless of how ridiculous it is)

What do you think of the person you like?

Friend of Mine [Lily Allen]

(I don’t like anyone right now, but if they were a friend it would be great :D)

What is your life story?

Mr. Moran [Mighty Mighty Bosstones]

(I got offended at first, because my mind changed it to “Mr. Moron” 😀 I’ll let the fam try to dissect this on their own :P)

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Conquest [The White Stripes]

(Um, not really 😛 Be seen as someone valuable? Yes. Be someone’s conquest? No. Conquer people? Not really.)

What do you feel when you see the person you like?

Strawberry Swing [Coldplay] (That’s sweet :P)

What will you dance to at your wedding?

For No One [The Beatles]

(Hm. I was thinking more the Macarena right now.)

What is your biggest fear?

Moving Pictures [Fallout Boy]

(HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Art student: right here. Film studies class last semester XP)

What is your biggest secret?

Wrap your arms around me [Barenaked Ladies]

(I feel like it would be funnier if it was just the band name 😀 No, Lexy, mom, and anyone else reading this, I don’t have a secret bf or gf or sex friend or anything :P)

What do you think of your friends?

Big Dumb Rocket [Our Lady Peace]

(I’ll take that as ‘favorite song’ kind of affection rather than… well… but HEY! They take me places :D)

What song will they play at your funeral?

Don’t Phunk with my heart [Black Eyed Peas]

(I’d like to believe that at my funeral I’d be able to get some laughs, even if it’s from odd funeral music choices)

Any last words?

Goodbye Grace [Spirit of the West]

(Goodbye Grace. I wish I knew someone named Grace… actually I think I do, and I didn’t like her that much, except that she taught me something funny about squirrels.)

I hope that someone else decides to do this, It’s pretty funny 😀

Two Sides of the Same Turtle… In Harry Potter… In Reality? No.

I was watching a comedian on YouTube (because it’s taking over what I find amusing to do to waste time D:), and one comedian came up and she mentioned something that made me thing. Here is the video in case anyone wants to try to jump ahead of me in this:


Can you guess?

She says that she can eat a full pizza by herself. She looks at the serving size, sees that it feeds 2-3 people and counts in her multiple personalities and calls it a meal…

I wonder if that would work for me.

If, when I went home and got out one of the big plates for when I’m eating whatever cooked deliciousness that my Dad has made up, I could co-explain it with “I’m a university student and I miss your cooking… also, this is for me and two different personalities that live in separate rooms of my mind. Don’t worry.”

The first bit would explain the first night… and maybe the following two dinners after that. The rest though… I think my parents worry about how much I’m eating. They shouldn’t.

I too can eat a whole pizza myself. I was feeling lazy the other day and was going to order a pizza. Then I decided that it would be embarrassing to bring out the empty box the next day to put in the recycler as it was the weekday and when my friends come over for a couple of hours it’s generally known.

Bu still, it got me wondering another thing… That wondering has caused me to realize something else too.

The wondering would be about what would be my Insane and Sane sides favourite foods. And how would they eat them.

The realization is that I think about my sane and insane sides a bit too much.

But they’re interesting to think about, as I have to wonder exactly how much of what Insanity wears is stuff that I would LIKE to wear but don’t have the balls or confidence to wear, and how much more like Lexy’s would my grades be like if I was a it more Sanity-oriented, rather than middling?

Would my earlier goal of Architectural Engineering have become reality? Would I have made plans for a sideways skyscraper? (think on that for a moment)

Why was it that after I wrote my bus-driver joke with Sanity and Insanity, and I wrote that they had blue eyes like I do, did my mental image of Insanity having one purple eye and one Green eye not fade? Why did I immediately think that “Well of course Insanity would get in on the coloured contacts deal (and why would she limit herself to only one colour?), and of course Sanity also has contacts, she’s just too busy getting other things done to put them on.”? It doesn’t make much sense that I immediately come up with these solutions. Or it does, but I’m making actual characters out of them.

And as I’ve been reading quite a bit of Harry Potter fanfiction lately, with many different characters, I’ve found that when I’m thinking of certain characters and plots a lot, I wake up thinking that it’s somewhat real.

One morning I woke up to my alarm and almost went back to sleep, thinking that “I can take a shower tomorrow… I can just use a cleaning charm when I wake up before I go to class.”

Other such thoughts, which caught me equally unawares, were these:

“Lexy’s next dog should be a Krup…” (a Krup [or Crup] is a little terrier-type dog with a forked tail, who is a great guard dog who attacks muggles on instinct. Obviously I don’t think of my family as muggles)

“My foot has been so itchy… I should look up a healing spell or something…” (Whatever was wrong with my foot is now solved, AFTER I did thorough research on all that could be going wrong with my foot… at one point I was certain that I was developing athletes foot, and was planning on going out to get a creme. Laziness saved me embarrassment and money.)

“I just need a potion, and I’ll stop throwing up already” (At one point, during a time when I actually had a morning class, my stomach was like “Umm…. EVERYTHING OUT! NOW” and I was unhappy and escaped from the toilet long enough to e-mail the teacher and say that I wasn’t feeling ‘well’ before going back to the toilet. I think this Harry Potter imaginings was wishful thinking)

“I would much rather be studying Transfiguration right now… might do that later…” (STUPID MIDTERMS! I HATE THEM!)

And all of these thoughts ended with something along the lines of “Oh… wait…” at varying times after I had them.

So I’m kind of afraid that at some point I’m going to wake up to some noise (like my alarm) and think something like “Oh no, Insanity has changed my alarm again… or she’s just making beeping noises… why hasn’t Sanity stopped her already???”

Or anything like this:

“Sanity will help me do my homework” (I don’t actually abuse smart friends like this, I just borrow their colourful notes to look at before exams)

“I wonder what Insanity would do to that girl” (She sat in the front row of class, next to me, and played games all class… And then at the end of class she went up to the prof. and was all panicky “Oh, I TOTALLY didn’t understand this part or this part or this part… Heeeeelp me I’m pitiful”… didn’t know whether or not to be angry or impressed as I was distracted by whatever game she was playing.)

“Sanity can go out to buy the groceries…” (I dislike grocery shopping as they put tempting snacks that I don’t NEED at every corner and aisle)

“I should steal some of Insanity’s clothing… when was the last time she did laundry…?” (I need to do laundry. I need to add money to my laundry card.)

I really want a pizza now…

OH! and check out the ChickComedy’s channel on YouTube 😀 Very funny 😀

Insanity is Mean

I realized as I was rereading what I posted before this that Insanity can be mean. A real bitch sometimes, actually.

Insanity is usually pretty fun, even if it’s more than unwise to listen to her. Or him, if you’re a guy.

But Insanity is also the one who creates doubts. Insanity is the voice niggling at the back of your mind, poking at your fatty brain tissue, making fun of your frontal lobe from their position from a dark corner. Insanity is the one to convince you that those people you walked past? Yeah, the ones who were just laughing?

Yeah, they were laughing at YOU.

Why? Because you’re STUPID and UGLY and WEAK. You look like  pussy today, and that guy who just handed you that thing you dropped is thinking you’re a stupid bint.

What’s a bint? You’re so stupid, it’s something that sounds like a british person would say it. a british person probably HAS said it.

British people are cooler than you.

You shouldn’t try to fake an accent, even as a joke though. Because that’s RACIST!

Insanity is the one who also convinces you to do embarrassing things. Especially when you’re not paying attention to Sanity.

This happens a lot when you’re really tired, or, I guess, drunk.

It’s a great idea to text your friend at 4 am. Hm. They aren’t responding. Try calling.

It’s a great idea to try to lick your nose right now.RIGHT NOW. Now see how far you can stick out your tongue. How long is that thing anyway?

You can Dance. You’re a great Dancer. DANCE ALREADY! See, everyone’s eyes are on you, you’re fabulous!

HAH! Trip on air!

You should tell a joke. How about “You just dropped your pocket.” Tell someone that. Now.

Lets paint our hands… then sleep.

Insanity can be fun, yes, but without Sanity alert enough to help our regular mentality filter through the ideas for the good and bad and maybe later, Insanity will lead you to a room you don’t want to be in.

That room will either have bars or a lot of padding on every wall.

In this mysterious room, you will also be given ‘fun’ new clothes. One has extra long arms and straps all over, and the other is classically portrayed as black-and-white striped or Orange.

You don’t want to go to this room.

Listen to Sanity, please.

Don’t wear Paint(ed on) Pants.

Don’t scream randomly in class, no matter how curious you are to see what would happen.

Don’t stay up to all hours of the night unless you have NOWHERE TO BE for the next (at least) THREE DAYS!

Don’t try to tell your teacher an “In your pants” joke.

Use your Sanity filters wisely

A Joke to Sanity and Insanity. 2

I liked the other one, so here’s another.

_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Me: Okay then, let’s try this one more time…

Sanity: Whatever you say… you should be studying for your midterm though, rather than trying to tell bad jokes.

Me: How do you know it’s going to be a bad joke? That’s kind of rude…

Insanity: Ahahahahaha! I totally got that one, great joke!

Sanity: that wasn’t a joke.

Insanity: Hah! That’s what you think! You just don’t have the mind to understand such sophisticated jokes…

Me: Um…

Sanity: And I know it’s going to be a bad joke. I know all of your jokes. They;re all written down. A joke someone already knows is a bad joke. You likely won’t be able to even finish a short cliche joke without being interrupted by this one. *points to Insanity*

Insanity: Hey! I’m not a bad joke!

Me: Whatever…

Insanity: Tell another joke already! Amuse me, Minion! *points at me*

Sanity sighs.

Me:  Um. Okaaaaay there… how about….

Sanity: Not that one. That one’s particularly bad.

Me: What? What do you know?

Sanity: A lot. Not that one either.

Me: *frustrated* Fine! Knock Knock!

Silence.

Sanity: Seriously?

Me: Yes. Knock. Knock. *raises eyebrows*

Silence.

Me: well?

Sanity sighs.

Sanity: Who’s the–

Insanity clamps hands down on Sanity’s mouth.

Insanity: SHHHHHHHHHHHH! *whispers* They’ll hear you…!

Sanity raises an eyebrow at Insanity.

Insanity: *still whispering* They’re following me. Don’t let them know anyone is home!

Me: But–

Insanity jumps and slaps a hand over my mouth as well.

Insanity: Are you insane!!!! BE QUIET!!!!!!!!! oops. I mean, *Whispers* Be quiet…….!

Sanity: But it’s just a joke, one person says Knock Knock, the other says Who’s there, and–

Insanity: AAH! You let them know that we’re here!!! I’m DOOMED! Flee! FLEE FOR YOUR LIFE! *runs away*

Sanity and I watch as she runs away, and Sanity turns to Me and raises an eyebrow.

Sanity: I told you so.

Me: shut up.

Sanity: couldn’t even finish a simple knock knock joke…

Me: ‘Snot my fault.

Sanity: No, it’s your minds fault.

Me: you’re part of my mind, so that means you’re partly to blame.

Sanity: Hah! Now that is a joke.

Me: …

-`-`-`-`-`-`

Well then, isn’t that refreshing? Anyone have any other jokes to try telling Sanity and Insanity?

A Joke to Sanity and Insanity.

Me: Okay, you’re a bus driver.

Sanity: I don’t have the required license, and I wouldn’t trust her behind the wheel.*looks skeptical*

Insanity: *grins* Ahahaha! Carry on. *Serious look*

Me: whatever. You’re the driver of a bus, and 10 people come on.

Sanity: okaaay…

Insanity: WAIT!

Me: What?

Insanity: *serious* Does the bus have four wheels…?

Me: Um, yes…?

Insanity: …Of cheese?

Sanity writes that down. I think for a moment.

Me: Yes, someone brought on 4 wheels of cheese onto the bus. CONTINUING! At the next stop, 3 people get off, and 7 people get onto the bus.

Sanity: Were there any people on the bus initially? Before the first 10 people came on?

Insanity: Did the person with the cheese get off?

Me: No, no one was on the bus in the beginning, and yes, the person with the cheese left.

Sanity nods.

Insanity: Ah. Continue.

Me: At the next stop, another 3 people get off, and… 13 people get on. At the next stop, 1 person gets off, and 7 people get on, at the next stop, another 2 people get off and 11 people get on, and at the next stop 3 people get off and a crowd of 16 gets on.

Insanity: Wow, popular bus isn’t it? and that’s AFTER the cheese lady gets off… how strange… *Shakes head* What’s the world coming to?

Me: um, okay… I’m going to finish this joke soon… um–

Sanity: Before you continue, please realize that most busses can hold 52 to 56 people at once. The current passenger count is– *checks notebook*–52.

Me: Um, okay?

Sanity: I’m simply making sure you’re keeping count. It’s important you know.

Me: Um… Okay there. It’s just a joke, calm down…  then three people get off, and another two people get on. Now I have one question for you.

Sanity waits patiently, while Insanity tries to peek at Sanity’s notebook for the answer.

Me: What colour is the Bus Drivers eyes?

Sanity blinks. Insanity is still trying to look at her notebook. Sanity thinks for a while. Finally:

Sanity: …Blue.

Insanity: What??? How could you know that???!?! *outraged* EEEEHNN! Wrong! *Insanity starts to count her fingers silently, lips moving*

Me: um, actually Sanity got the joke, you see I said–

Insanity: HAH! No, it’s a trick question! Trying to fool me like that, what do you take me for? Do you think I’m crazy or something?

Sanity: Yes.

Me: How do you figure that?

Sanity turns to a new page in her notebook and raises a pen, ready for the answer.

Insanity: Well how are we supposed to know what kind of pen the bus driver writes with? Hmm?

Me: what?

Sanity: What do writing utensils have to do with the question?

Insanity shoves a hand down the front of her shirt, rummages for a moment, and pulls out a handful of pens held together by an elastic band.

Insanity: Look, I use red pens for my ‘a’s and a green pen for my ‘u’s and this pretty orange one for my ‘x’s, but how am I supposed to know what colour to use for the ‘i’s? Hmm? That changes CONSTANTLY!

Me: what?

Sanity takes a deep breath after she finishes writing.

Sanity: When she said eyes, she meant eyes like what you use to look at things, mot ‘I’s like written letters. The joke is to make you forget that she said that YOU were the bus driver, and that you know your own eye colour.

Me: What?

Insanity blinks at Sanity before giving Me a strange look.

Insanity: Well how the hell would you expect anyone to figure THAT out?

Me: O_O…

-~-~-~-~

As you can see, sometimes I can’t keep up with either my Sane or Insane sides…

I haven’t written about these two for a while, thought I’d remind you all of them.

Also, I’ve figured out that there aren’t only two rooms in my head, there are three. One side for Sanity, the other for Insanity, and one in the middle as neutral (Me) territory. That way Insanity and Sanity don’t have to invade each others turfs, and therefore affect each other… No, they leave all that to me.

*sigh*

Good luck to all Nano-ers, and as an experienced Nano-er, listen to your Insane sides and let them loose on the page, but let your Sane sides help keep you from putting off working on it or from making a detour from your plan of having this character or that character introduced or killed off. (Insanity likes killing off characters, especially the ones you have due to necessity rather than like)

Also let Sanity into your life to tell you what time you should go to bed. Sanity is regularly poking me and telling me that if I want to get at least 7 hours of sleep, I should go to bed NOW. You won’t always listen (especially in November), but sleep is good and a great way to let your mind wander around Sanity and Insanity’s rooms without getting scared back to your own room. I’m not participating this year as I’m being… *sigh* RESPONSIBLE and dealing with school work over writing. Fanfiction.net followers know of what I am doing to replace that. Check out It’s Green on my profile, same username on ffn.net to see my replacement.

Everyone Wish a GOOD LUCK to Lexy0387 this year in her quest for NaNoWriMo dominance, and suggest things to buy Gwynn to distract him that WON’T be bitten in half and swallowed within the first 5 minutes 😀

Ciao

Insanity and Sanity; The Two faces of the Same Turtle.

Oops, of course I mean the two erasers for the same coin.

But every Interesting Conversation Happens from Bad Listening

Loin?

What? Sorry, I wasn’t paying affection.

You have butt affliction? And Paid force it?

Neverwind.

Right.

I mishear many things when having conversations, and more often than not it isn’t because I’m getting old and losing my hearing, even though I’m not even 20 yet.

Wind, Hats with flaps over the ears, cars, traffic, trees, distracting things, music, people, and mumbling are all old frenemies of mine. Friendly enemies.

Because of that group I have had many conversations that has lead to much laughter, and a bit of going off topic, but it has also made me seem insane on more than one occasion.

“Hey, did you want to go to the park later?”     A friendly question.

“What?”     Startlement. Shock. Experience that says that they should be repeating what they said before I call the cops.

“Um, Did You Want To Go To The Park Later?”   Unsure, and curious.

“Oh, sure! I thought you said something totally different! I thought you’d said ‘did you want to bury the body later?’ hah!”    Relief. Confusion that my friend is backing away slowly.

I eventually developed a way to distinguish what people are actually saying from the insanity that my mind replaces their words with, but I feel it also caused me to develop something often seen in cartoons.

You know, the little cartoon Angle and Demon that poofs onto the characters shoulders? One suggesting you do the Right Thing, and the other saying To Hell With It! HAVE FUN! BWAHAHAHA!

But I don’t get the hallucinations, don’t worry.

Instead I have a small division in my mind with my Insane Side and my Sane Side.

Insanity translates what she hears to something she finds more interesting, shouting out to my consciousness what is being said.

Sanity Listens, writes down what is said, and then says what was actually said.

My Insane side is hunched over and grinning madly, giggling occasionally as the rest of the world goes by and fiddling with its thumbs. Occasionally Thumb Fights break out. Insanity only occasionally pays attention to the world outside of my head since it finds it so boring, but makes an effort to make it a little less boring by giving translations to what other people are saying to me. Of course she does it out of the goodness of her heart. After all, her heart was drawn onto her shirt really well, and even Sanity mentioned that it was pretty good.

My Sane side sits off to the side reading a book and listening to the outside world, a notebook off to the side. She occasionally looks up at Insanity to check what she’s up to, and often times writes down what she’s muttering to herself and her thumbs, and sometimes what she’s doing. Sanity makes sure that when Insanity pays attention to the outside world, she doesn’t try to affect it. When she does, Sanity writes it down and tries to fix whatever she’s done.

Sanity likes Insanity because Insanity is interesting, and writes down what Insanity does to laugh over later, and oftentimes what is in that notebook ends up in dreams and in my imagination. Sanity, as funny as it sounds, is my inner-novel-writer, even if she is a bit obsessive compulsive.

Insanity only likes Sanity when Sanity is being interesting, or when she’s managed to yell out translations loud enough to confuse Sanity and make her say “Yep, that’s what I heard as well… CONFIRM BEFORE CALLING COPS!” Insanity guides my hand when I’m drawing, and gets distracted easily, so my picture of a cow quickly turns into something abstract and awesome in a way that a normal bovine creature cannot be unless it is a CREATURE. Because of this distraction though, she also regularly finds new and more interesting things to think about, and is the voice in my mind saying “Lets do something else now… We can finish this later, kay? Bwahahaha…”

I will likely draw these figures before long, and will post them here once I figure out how to use the scanner on my printer…

Until then, I kind of picture them like Waldo and Odlaw (Odlaw, for those of you who don’t know, is Waldo’s brother.)

See? Two sides of the same Turtle.

See?

Oftentimes, even after I’ve finished getting over the fact that the person I’m talking to has not, in fact, invited me over for a Nazi party (:O), or jokingly called my a nipple (:S), or even asked me if I wanted to bury the body later, my insane side will still be muttering about how I should be worried, because They only corrected themselves because my reaction said that I don’t like Nazis and I would be a joykill rather than a jewkill at the party, and they called me a nipple because they have a malformed nipple that looks like a person–perhaps even like me personally–and They figure they can tell me about the body later, after they’ve buried it in my back yard.

This sometimes leads to more miscommunication, as my actual consciousness is busy laughing over the ridiculousness of what Insanity is muttering, and Sanity is too busy writing down what is being said to pay attention. Sanity likes to analyze these things later.

All in all, it leads to some interesting conversations, and an interesting mental picture of what Sanity and CRAZY would look like, as well as a kind of inside joke with my sister and a few friends who I’ve mentioned my sane and insane sides to.

Uh, 13 Doodle, We have a Code Brown in Balsam

My job this past summer was working as a Maintenance Worker at Grundy Lake.

I wasn’t the person who would direct you to your site.

I wasn’t the person who helped you change sites and sold you firewood.

I wasn’t the person who put on the nature shows, telling you about bears, and bugs, and what’s what about nature.

I didn’t guide you through any of the free trails Grundy has to offer, pointing out interesting things along the way.

I wasn’t the person who told you to quiet down from partying at midnight.

I wasn’t the person who told you you have to leave your site at 2, and do you realize it’s 2:30?

I wasn’t the person who you called to deal with your noisy neighbours, who also happened to be cutting branches from the forest for their fire.

I wasn’t any of these people, but I was the person who made sure you would want to come back.

I was the person who kept the main attraction clean.

Yes, I do mean that I made sure that branches weren’t overgrowing the roads and the sites.

Yes, I do mean that I mowed grass and trimmed the trails.

Yes, I do mean that I clipped back those prickly bushes from by the parking lots, and around your site.

But when I say that I keep the main attraction clean, I do not mean nature.

I mean the toilets.

You might say I deal with the real ‘business’ of maintaining the Park.

You may laugh, scoff at the idea that the toilets are the main attraction, but would you be so willing to go camping if the only option while camping with a little more than 100 other campers (in your AREA) was a couple of thunder boxes?

This is a hole, dug approx. 6 feet into the ground, with a box with a hole in it set on top. Bring your own toilet paper, and a flashlight if it's dark.

Grundy is known for it’s privacy ratings, but we can’t exactly make this private… every once in a while we have to go and fill in the hole, dig another one a little ways off, and put the box back on top. Putting another box, or some other kind of privacy thing around it wouldn’t work.

Yes, While the back-country sites have thunderboxes, their excuse is that they are for the people who want to go roughing it. That is for the people who want to canoe across the lake with their suff, and set up tents where they can find flat places. I think there are about 4 or 5 backcountry sites in Grundy… We don’ have to go there and clip it back, we leave that to the Rangers close to the area (Ontario Parks Rangers, a summer job for people who are turning 17 the year they sign up for it, free room and board and food, minimum wage.)

For everyone else, there are the outhouses.

We clean the outhouses.

We clean them every day.

We sweep them out, get rid of webs, wipe down the seats (with cleaning spray and a rag) to each and every set of outhouses.

There are 36 sets, I believe, in Grundy.

3 of those sets are set up as one side of one outhouse is mens, and the other is women’s.

The rest have two outhouses at each spot, which means that there are 66 individual outhouses that two Maintenance workers clean.

Every day.

 

This is what one Grundy Lake outhouse looks like. Right next to it, another would be set up, but for girls. Singles would be one of these buildings, with one gender for each door.

We also paint these when the paint starts getting cracked… I think I painted about 6 sets of outhouses this past summer. My coworkers complained about t, but I liked painting them. It used up time, and I like painting in general.

The inside looks like this... But this summer we painted the insides cream rather than green.

The toilets at Grundy actually flush as well, which was nice until I realized that it means that It can also get clogged.

Ladies flushing pads, and moms (and dads too) flush diapers… Why YES it’s the perfect size to go down that hole, now lets flush it… oh, right, that adds water and makes it expand! Oh gosh, it’s clogged!

What a surprise.

Really.

Anyway, while working, we drive around in the MNR trucks, and when we get radio calls (all students were 13 _your name_, and if you were calling someone, lets say their code name was 3-4, you would say “3-4 read 13 _your name_” and end with “13 clear”. Calls for you from this person would be “13_your name_ read 3-4” ), and one of the most common were for Code Browns.

Can you guess what it is?

Well, it’s when someone misses in a big way.

I figure that some of these people are holding themselves up while taking a dump, otherwise how did they get it all over the seat? On the floor? On the walls? (methinks this last one is some REALLY upset stomach)

I’m certain some kids think it’s funny to poop in awkward places, because I found a present behind one of the toilets once.

Yeah. my pictures look kind of unreal, and not really appropriate… also, for the majority, I haven’t had my camera, and even though I’ve been blogging for  while now, I still haven’t gotten to the point here I can see poop n the floor and splattered on the walls and think “Hey, I should get a picture of that.”

For the really bad ones we use a pressure washer (water tank in back of truck), but otherwise use a ‘bunny tail’.

This is a Bunny tail. No rabbits were harmed for the use of this.

Yeah. Bunny Tail is how I was introduced to it.

It’s gross, and there’s a lot of groaning about it, but we do it.

There are risks.

The nauseating smell, the campers who complain in he first place, the risk of a backwash of ‘shit-mist’ from the pressure-washer (hide behind door is the preferred method), along with the feeling of “Oh, nooooooo!” when the pressure washer runs out of gas and you have to leave the Scene of the Crime to get more….

But we do it.

Because we are the Maintenance workers.

We wear our coveralls with pride.

We clomp in our Steel-toed boots knowing that we’ve done a job-well-done.

While in our trucks, we still wave to campers, even knowing that there’s a certain percentage of assholes out there among you who we will have to deal with, them and their shit, and are happy when people wave back.

Yes, we wonder if the reason you smiled so widely is because you know we have to go clean up the smear you left behind, or if perhaps its because you’re happy that that Code Red (only on the female side, guess what it is) will soon be cleaned up, but we wave and smile anyway. (P.S. we are actually required to wave in the beginning, but after a week or so you get used to it and do it intentionally)

No, we are not Gate workers, we are not Naturalists, we are not Park Wardens.

We are Maintenance workers.

We clean up your shit.

How to Untangle Headphones (and Never Want to Use Them Again)

One of the online comics that I read regularly would be Two Lumps (can find in my favourite links page), and one of them mentioned a rather odd video that I hadn’t ever seen before: “How to Untangle Headphones Using a Cat.”

I was rather curious about WTF they were talking about, so I Googled it and let the Youtube video load.

Here it is:

Yeah.

Yeah.

Pretty much my reaction right there.

Shock, grossed-outedness, a bit of laughter, and a dash of “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO THE POOR CAT?”

If you had any combination of these reactions, you’re on the same side as my Sane side.

If your reaction was to wonder “What about if you don’t have a cat?” You obviously have a very similar Insane side to you as I have.

Yeah.

That cat was probably like this cat off screen:

“OmnomnomNomnom, Nomnom, nom…nom… WTF GUYS?!? NOT cool.”

Floss your cat indeed…

Yard Work Help

This weekend is a Working Weekend, where my family and I Work In The Backyard, and Clean The House as needed. We regularly try to minimalize any actual Cleaning in house unless Lexy puts on her Lex Luthor persona and encourages (read: forces) us.

Today was mainly working on cleaning along the side of our garage, where there was copious amounts of rotting, punky, nail-ridden planks of useless wood. This is a No, because as soon as we realized a couple of weeks back that Gwynn (our overly curious dog) has been chasing the squirrels there.

Even mostly empty, it's still so messy...

This is all the stuff (or at least a good portion) that we took from the side of the garage

There was a lot of stuff there, most of which we really didn’t want him getting into… There were just too many situations where we would have to bring dog into the vet for, such as him stepping on a rusty nail, him trying to eat the pressure treated wood (which is BAD for dogs, like poison and grapes), trip over one of the beams and break something, get trapped or squished when, after knocking into one of the taller piles/vertically leaning planks, everything falls on him, and possibly a couple of other things too.

We had had everything blocked off; using an ingenious wall made up from garbage cans and not-nasty planks, but figured the best solution would be to actually clean it…

Lexy used this for a lot of the planks... Gwynn was not inpressed

So we started hauling out all of the planks of wood to throw out, some of the thicker pieces requiring Dad to use an axe on the pieces, but otherwise we used power tools to cut the pieces into smaller sections.

It all needed to be able to fit into our Garbage cans after all.

We ended up not being able to get all of the pieces in there though, so we have to wait till next garbage day to get rid of ALL of it. That’s not too much fun, but we got a lot done.

One of the things that we found while pulling things from the side was a large orange tarp.

My family is a big believer in the usefulness of a tarp, so we spread it out to dry off for a bit, and quickly found out that a gigantic slug had been hiding out in its folds. Mom even made the noise that she usually reserves for earwigs when she found it, but that’s understandable… the Beastly Slug was bigger than her thumb, sooo…

Yeah. Understandable.

Now look at your thumb, and imagine it's a large slug. Go ahead, do it. Yes, eww.

What was not understandable was why I was the one who had to get rid of it. I mean, Finders Keepers and all that jazz right?

But no, it was me who had to roll it onto a leaf and put it in our compost bins…

Everyone else was happy (including the Slug Beast I bet, since we have a lot of good compost material in our bins, and that’s good slug food I bet), and I dealt with the slug.

Blegh.

So we spread out the Orange tarp, and I started to shake it out to loosen the dirt…

Dog helped.

And then ran away… and then helped again…

He seemed to really like playing with the tarp, but he kept on trying to chew on it, so that part wasn’t fun.

But, after the hose was turned on, I started spraying it down…

He also seemed to really like the hose, so that part was fun, and it was interesting seeing him slowly deflate as his hair got weighed down by water.

 Fun times with this, eh?

But hosing it down wasn’t going to do much, I have to admit… so Lexy helped out by bringing out a scrubby brush…

It was apparently a particularily ferocious looking scrubby brush, since Gwynn attacked it in our defense…

the entire thing was pretty hilarious, and it took up a good amount of time, so by that time Lexy suggested (reda: decided) that it would be a good time to start cleaning up inside.

We did a good general clean inside on the main floor, and then headed to the basement to get it looking like less of a war zone.

Our basement used to be an apartment, and up untill a little mor ethan a year ago, we had a tenant  who lived there. She was nice, and a bit of a shop-a-holic, and ended up giving up a LOT of her clothing to us. We never really had to go shopping…

Aah, those were the days…

Bou, since she’s moved out, we’ve been using it as a sort-of storage area, so even cleaning it up menat that there were some boxes along the walls, and things hung up around the room.

My primary job was to move all of my hockey stuff back into my hockey bag, since my parents had emptied it out to hold suits while they went to Florida for a week. Mom’s school participates in something called DECA, and regularily goes on trips. It’s a sort-of business club, and at these events they get prizes and the like, and Mom usually enlists Dad’s help in acting as a Judge/supervisor at these things.

They didn’t exactly ask if they could use my bag, but with the season being over, I figured that they were taking their own rishs with the suits that they were bringing up smelling of hockey equiptment, and got a good laugh at picturing my mom hauling around my hockey bag in front of her students.

But I still needed to clean out my hockey bag, and them removing everything from it gave me encouragement to get it over with already.

I had a couple of pairs of socks that were too small, and at least two jerseys that I wasn’t likely to use, as well as a number of tape wads that were just taking up space.

I narrowed it down to having four pairs of socks (I make them holy regularily, so spares are understandable), and three different coloured jerseys. The rest were going to be thrown in the garbage.

And it was–save one jersey.

Lexy suggested using one of my old jerseys and maybe stufing i with something, since Gwynn has always shown an interest in my equiptment, so I saved one for him. Perhaps we will make it into a large pillow or something… if anyone can think of anything else that could possibly be done by two amateur-ish crafters, feel free to mention.

But before we did that…

Yeah, put  yo paws in the ay-yer, a-a-yer, a-yer!

lol, ignore or accept my dorkishness, it’s still there.

Here are some more pictures inspired by my dorkishnes.

And he submerged his head, only to find that it was only dirty water, not beer, within the bucket. Alas...

We played for a bit before drying him off some more (minus the jersey)

 

He stands tall in his pride as a Hockey Supporter and Fan...

Lexy used her Boss charms to get him to consent to the Towel…
Quick explanation to Boss:
You know the dog owners who go overboard with the whole “Yes, look at mummy mupsy-wupsy! Oooooh, what a good girl/boy! Now give mummy kisses, etc, etc, etc…”?
 
Well, Lexy didn;t wnat to be one of those people…
 
Close quote: “I am not the dog’s mother, and will never be the dog’s mother. Gwynn’s relationship to me shouold be more like an employee to a bos… yes, I am the dog’s Boss. Bwahaha! Hear me roar!”
or something like that…
 

yes, Lexy can be entirely too cutsy with Dog, but still a powerful, almost Jedi force keeps Gwynn frrom fidgeting and attempting escape when she towels him... strange...

So we got a lot done this weekend, Lexy got the rest of the basement cleaned with my help, she had friends over to go to the bars for a belated birthday bash, the basement now clean enough for a few of them to stay the night, and oh!

Almost forgot to mention that I fixed up a small problem that we’ve been having with the mesh doors. Dog keeps running into the mesh doorways, and looking thoroughly disgruntled when he ouldn’t get past the invisible force-field, so I fixed it.

from left: star, swirl, X, flower... reflective and protective (TM) 😀

STICKERS! Yes, I cut out pictures from some shiny tape (not unlike duct tape), and put them on the screen door at the appropriate height for dog.  

I feel as though this would have been less of an issue had Dog not been very suspicious of his ability to get through doorways after his interactions with the screen door…
It’s not fun when You have to cajole and go outside yourself to get your pet to go outside to take a leak…
 
Yeah, not nearly as convenient as just letting him out…
 
So that was the weekend, and all of it’s productiveness!
 
Ciao~
 
~Doodled93~