My Dog’s Thoughts

This is what I think goes on through my dogs’ head while he’s having doggy thoughts.

Also featuring the Corgi Calvin, who we are dog-sitting.

Here I sit, inside, peering out at my domain. The back yard.

I remember each and every spot I have ever peed, so long as I am able to get a good sniff of the place, and I am content.

I sense a disturbance.

My sight hones in on the problem—my Person, The Boss, is petting the Interloper.

Calvin.

I sit up and start barking, wishing to go Outside and also get the pettings, and Boss Speaks.

I stop barking.

Tilt my head.

What was I…?

Oh, yes, the pettings. Calvin should not get all of the Boss’ pettings!

Boss is not moving, and so I take up barking again, wishing to Be Outside Right Now, and another of my People let me Out. It is the Cheese Man.

I wipe my nose on his hands in thanks and bound outside.

I must get to Boss, must get to pettings!

Boss calls out a greeting, and I no longer remember what I was looking for, what I was aiming to get…

Ah! There’s Calvin!

He pants and twitches his ears in my direction, and I pounce in his direction, my feet landing just short of his paws as I dip down into a stretch.

Boss gives me a pat on the head, and I dip my nose down to bop Calvin on his head.

He does not look impressed, so I do it again.

He makes what Boss calls his Gremlin Noise, which is actually Calvin saying Back Off. Or, well, when he’s directing it at me, that is.

I do not.

Because when Calvin makes that noise at Boss he means Pet Me, and I want that to happen to me, so while Boss’ fingers scratch Calvin on the short fur on top of his head, I sniff at his face and welcome Boss using her other hand to scratch me around my neck. It is a good scratching.

Mmm.

Calvin makes the Gremlin Noise louder when I lick his face and nose, and he snaps at me when I lick over his eye.

I do not understand why he will not play with me.

I jerk my face back form his, and consider him for a moment.

“Woof!”

Play with me.

I bark right in his face. Right by his extra large ears, which I am not at all jealous of, not when Boss likes my own so much as to call them my ‘pigtails’, and Calvin turns and catches my whiskers in his mouth.

When I jerk back, he has a tuft of my fur in his mouth. I’m pretty sure this means he loves me.

I make a sad noise at him, and turn to Boss to find her smiling… Boss is happy! Boss is Happy! She is also close

She stops smiling when I lick her teeth, but then, when I lick Calvin’s mouth he stops smiling, too. Most dogs, I find, do not like me licking their mouths.

Most dogs also don’t like it when I lick their genitals, either.

Sadie didn’t.

I wonder when I will once again see Sadie.

I love Sadie.

Sadie’s Gremlin Noises were much more impressive than Calvin’s.

I wish Sadie were staying with us instead of Calvin.

Calvin is preoccupied with trying to get my fur from his mouth, so I curl myself around Boss’s feet.

It is not as comfortable as curling up in her lap, or even in curling up in the mysterious bed that showed up at the same time as Calvin—it even smelled like him, mysteriously enough, as it is obviously My Bed, the same way My Crate is My Crate…

Everything in the House is Mine.

It is My House.

I sigh, and am happy.

This is Gwynn when he's at his wooliest.  Also after he's had a chance to get at a puddle and wallow for a while...

This is Gwynn when he’s at his wooliest.
Also after he’s had a chance to get at a puddle and wallow for a while…

 

Plot Bunnies With Cattle Prods

Everyone gets ideas, it’s a fact.

Everyone gets persistent ideas as well.

You know the ones, the ones with cattle prods. With Taser in hand.

Sometimes the cattle prods are red-hot at the ends, as they want to brand you with themselves.

But it’s an idea that you can’t let go of, even as it pokes and prods at you, wanting your attention, wanting you to do something about it, wanting you to –hey, why haven’t you dropped everything yet? What’s up with that? This idea is so much more interesting than what you’re doing now, or what you need to do later, that it’s amazing you haven’t imploded from the need to move onto this amazing idea yet.

What is wrong with you?

The idea will poke and prod until you do something about it, it will continuously remind you that you have a duty to it every time you stop for a moment, let your mind wander…

Why haven’t you done anything about this idea yet?

Are you stupid?

Idiot.

But, because you have something that NEEDS to get done, that idea will have to wait.

It has to, because it came to you not when you had time, but when you were reading something, or perhaps doing something important, or getting ready to go to bed after working fo the entire day and the idea finally catches up to you…

And then doesn’t let go.

These ideas are funny like that

But, no matter what you’re doing, until you have done something about this idea–no matter what, exactly it is an idea about–you will be poked, prodded, sometimes bashed over the head, so that you are either mildly distracted from what you need to do, or else you are blinking and shaking your head from disorientation from this new abusive relationship you have with this part of your psyche, asking “pardon?” and hoping no one will notice you weren’t paying the least bit attention to this thing that NEEDS your attention

Of course, this idea you have also NEEDS your attention, doesn’t it?

Because you know that it’s an idea that needs to be explored, it may even be something that you will eventually actually NEED to get to, and you don’t want to lose this at-the-moment unwanted passion and unwilling enthusiasm, that what’s grabbing your attention will not be done nearly as well if you don’t get to it while you’re THIS interested.

And there is this fearful need to get it done, because there are a few things that run through your mind, and most of them are what-if’s

What if you just finish what you’re doing, and come back to it? Will that work?

What if I forget this amazing idea? (Note: his happens a lot right before you’re going to bed)

What if after I’m done this important thing, I’ve lost the enthusiasm? Then it won’t be nearly as good…

All these things will run through your mind at one point or another, and more, and it adds fuel to the fire of any anxiety you’ve already experienced thus far.

Not fun.

With me it’s usually story ideas, and I end up telling Lexy a lot of them (she does this in kind, though lately it’s been for her amazing short stories), and one term for these ideas you might have heard about is that you’ve gotten a ‘Plot Bunny’

It’s rather clever since the ideas are usually little fuzzy things bouncing around in your mind, sometimes breeding with other bunnies in the vast landscape of your imagination, and creating new, sometimes more developed plot bunnies.

This is usually what I imagine a plot bunny would be like:

Plot Bunny writer Kitteh

Cue yeah? And writer cat is good for me too, since a great deal of what happens is that I get so focused on one idea, and sometimes get distracted, or focus on a different plot bunny and ignore the others I’ve already started working on. It’s a bit like a cat who’s really interested in the game you’ve been playing, but then between one swipe and the next the claws are out and they’re entirely disinterested in that bit of string that’s held their attention so long.

But these ideas, these plot bunnies that kick and shout and generally screw with your mind until they die or you give up, it’s like something went horribly wrong.

Possibly in a way that can be salvaged, but it’s like adding a buzz saw and ninja stars to a plot bunny.

No, wait. It’s like the plot bunnies have gone rabid.

They’re going crazy in your mind, frothing at the mouth, and you can’t not pay attention to that, can you?

It seems like it could be cute or scary or something from Monty Python, like something that could be in your dreams or nightmares, and in any case something difficult to put aside.

I feel like I experience this quite a lot, so here’s some things that at least help. It’s not a lot, but it means that these plot bunnies can sometimes be saved, rather than end up being put down like Ol’ Yeller.

I write things down.

I have probably a dozen or so word documents with a few ideas for stories written down inside of them, little bits and things that seem brilliant and are flashing and shrieking in my ear as something brilliant (or heartbreaking, there are quite a few plot bunnies that are on a mission to have me bawling my eyes out), so I write them down. If I can spare some time to write out a few paragraphs (even if they aren’t coherent, or in a proper story-telling kind of format), I’ll do that and just write out the other scenes around it… Mind you, if you do this you must have patience, because you may or may not be the kind of person who wants to post something immediately, or get to an idea quickly, but more times than not it’s best to write out what needs writing rather than jumping to this amazing scene that’s only amazing because YOU (the author) know all the back story and linking things for it.

I experienced this with my Torchwood story, when I jumped ahead to a part of the story I already knew would be happening, and had at least a chapter finished… only I knew I had at least another scene to write (at the VERY least, and that would be skimping on important detail), so the few reviews I got complaining about me not updating quick enough (which is equally flattering and annoying, by the way), or people asking if I’ve abandoned the story (NO. Each chapter is at least 10k, and I write ALL of the next chapter, don’t you DARE give up on me you weak-willed readers! Have courage to click the ‘subscribe to story’ button!), can get really frustrating, and I know none of them believe me when I say that I wrote ahead. That I’m not done THIS chapter because I was busy working on the next.

The Love-Hate relationship to writing fanfiction…

Another thing I do is talk about it.

Lexy is a fantastic sounding board. I personally hate calling someone a ‘sounding board’, sounds quite a bit like I’m just using someone, but it’s true.

I can talk to her about stories and plot ideas I’ve had bouncing in my head, and being able to talk about my ideas aloud sometimes help me solidify one idea or another. Sometimes I can get away with just talking aloud, but hearing feedback and seeing Lexy’s expressions and opinions really helps.

Most computers have some sort of webcam as well, and I’ve tried filming myself talking about a story idea to even see my own expressions, because watching it helps me figure out where I’m unsure. You don’t realize how much you express when you’re talking until you’re watching it.

This also helps out when you’re working on a story/idea already, and helps you get new perspectives. Dwelling on a story long enough sometimes dulls the story for you, yourself, as the author. It’s like the 20th time you’ve seen a movie, as you’ve already looked over all the hidden meanings, you know all the back stories, there are no more surprises, no more twists, and you think way too ahead.

So yeah, talking. It works.

It also forces you from your writing cave

And the last thing…

Well, It’s something I’ve been thinking of doing, so it isn’t something I KNOW works. I know there’s a possibility it may work though.

You could make a forum and adopt out your plot Bunnies.

I have a lot of ideas rumbling about in my head, and before I start writing a story I’m usually feeling it out for months before I start seriously writing it, so some plot bunnies get neglected.

So why not give out prompts? You could do it with one word prompts, and their definitions, or you could write out a small summary for your plot bunny, you could post a paragraph that you’ve written down, you could give bits and pieces and scenarios from plot bunnies and see where others take them.

If you make a request for someone to link their project back to you, then you can even read it, and you know that one quote…

If you don’t, it goes something like

“If there’s a story you really want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, get to writing it”

Something like that. It’s what got me into regularly writing my own things.

But back to turning part of your imagination into a sort of foster home for Plot Bunnies (Rabid or otherwise, and remember that you can always pick them back up again later when you have the time and inclination)… well, you really don’t have to, but it’s something to consider.

What use are YOU getting out of them, hmm? What if you have an idea, a newborn Plot Bunny, but don’t have any plans on actually writing it? What if you just enjoy the idea hopping around your head? Well, you could foster it out and then you could READ the story someone else makes out of it.

You could hate it, you could love it… but it’s maybe gotten someone else to start writing, so that’s good 🙂

These tips work pretty well for other kinds of ideas, too, I’d imagine. An idea for a drawing you don’t have time for? Doodle it. Write down colours, just do a thumbnail drawing and come back to it. Have an idea for a poem? Keep sticky notes with you, or a note pad, and write it down as it comes. Edits are for later, and you might not have the rhythm for it later. Or what about a sculpture, or a carving, or something else that would be three-dimensional? Draw it out. A rough sketch to get the idea out, jot down the specifics, things not obvious in the drawing.

These ideas are rabid in your thoughts because they’re GOOD ideas. They may need refining, some other details figured out, but they’re distracting you because you can do something with this.

The Plot Bunnies and Business Bunnies and Doodle Rabbits and other furry creature ideas DON’T have to be a problem. Even if you’re in a rush, taking a half-hour break to jot down some notes can only help, since it means you won’t be (as) distracted when you go back to work.

How do YOU deal with your Rabid Plot Bunnies?

This is more of a nightmarish thing for me, honestly...

This is more of a nightmarish thing for me, honestly…

 

Looked a bit like I had a Boner…

So, one thing that I’ve noticed bout when Lexy goes on Walks, is that she usually carries a bag with her. One to sling over her shoulder and hold onto a water botle, a fold-up dish, and the poop bags.

The other day when I went for a walk with Gwynn, I decided that it was hot, yes, but we were only going out for a half-hour for now, and another short walk later, so I decided to forgo grabbing a bag and just shove the bags in my pocket.

A few streets from my house, I looked down and noticed that the tube of bags I’d shoved into the pocket of my shorts was looking a bit odd.

A bit like I had a boner…

I’m sure no one thought that I, in my girly short shorts and floral shirt, was a man showing off my junk, but still, in the same way penis jokes have amused me when I was in middle school, I was still amused at the thought.

Makes me wonder if other people would have connected the bulge by my crotch was a roll of poop bags (lavender scented, even) and what else they could have thought it was.

Just thoughts.

I Don’t Believe in WAITING!

FINAL UPDATE FOR THIS! See HERE for anything else on my journey through this ordeal…

So, I finally watched The Last Episode Of The Second Season Of BBC Sherlock.

Which means I have to wait until around Christmas (approximately, maybe January) for the next part season.

I should have waited….

I have been re-watching the series with a couple of friends, one of whom hadn’t seen the series before. I kind of maybe sort of forced her to watch it, but since her computer hates Sherlock, we have been watching it, one episode a night, with my laptop set on top of a juice box packaging container on op of a chair with the screen as bright as can be and the volume as high as it can go.

Today (Wednesday) is a small break for her because she has to review some things she doesn’t get in class, as well as catching up on sleep.

But my other friend (of the two who watched the series with me) hadn’t finished watching the second episode of season 2, and she wouldn’t be able to watch it tomorrow night, so I watched it with her tonight.

It was awesome, as all episodes of BBC Sherlock are.

But, at the end of it, and I knew it was coming, she tuned to me with a smile and said “Let’s watch the next episode”

It was only 9.

It would be over soon enough if we did watch it, 10:30, 10:40 if there was bathroom breaks.

It felt like something inside of me was shrivelling up when I set up the next episode…

Five minutes into the episode and I wanted to turn it off, wait until the next season came out.

Ten minutes later that same part of me that shrivelled up was screaming at me to turn it off! Black out the screen, mute it! TURN IT OFF! YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE EPISODE!

That shrivelled prune squirmed inside me and threw a massive hissy fit for another five minutes before it got distracted enough by the episode that it only remembered to start screaming again a little less than an hour and a half later. Or, as I’m realizing now, It could have been Insanity having tied it up. Possibly with the help of Sanity. I mean, Sherlock is amusing and interesting and the end of the first season nearly drove me mad, so that must have been amusing for Insanity… But also, being afraid of watching the last episode of the second season isn’t terribly rational, so shutting up that fear of WHY-MUST-I-WAIT-FOR-THE-NEXT-SEASON!!?!?! makes sense. It’s like ripping off a band-aid, best get it over with quickly, Sanity might say. But it can also be like ripping it off in a pool, so that you’re grossed out every time you see it floating there in the water, because you’re never quite sure if that one’s yours, Insanity might add. Probably with a smile…

But then again, Insanity would be that gross kid in the pool who would pick up the band-aid and whip it at you to gross you out.

In any case, by the end of the episode, that Shrivelled Thing was back to screaming.

You’re going to regret this! WHY DID YOU WATCH IT! YOU’RE GOING TO DIE! What the hell??? TURN IT OFF BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!

The ending was already spoiled for me, so I knew what was going to happen…. so I watched the episode through the screams of that shrivelled part of me, watched as what was spoiled unfolded (nice mental image, that), watched all the way through, and now it is with a heavy heart that I await the next season to come out. Why didn’t I wait? I probably could have waited for the next season to be out before watching it…

Perhaps the band-aid was not ready to come off.

But it’s off, and if I’m going by Dad’s philosophy of band-aids, it’s better to not put back on another band-aid. It’s best to air the wound, put on some Polysporin, and besides, it’s not even bleeding…

Watching the episode was probably less like taking off a band-aid, and likely more like putting Polysporin on a scrape.

*sigh* Fun times.

I seriously can’t wait until the next season comes out…

For all those who want to watch the show, go to THIS LINK HERE and watch, and become a fan, and love it.

Also, for those who Read my post HERE about how much I miss my dog, and are curious about what I named my stuffed dog, my friends and I figured out its name.

Benedict Scott. As in Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock) and Andrew Scott (Moriarty).

AND because I have two middle names (Elizabeth Rose), my manly stuffed dog also has two middle names. They weren’t really my choice, but I think it works.

Benedict Simba Rafiki Scott. Scott-Cumberbatch if you don’t want the last name to end so abruptly.

According to the internet, if you look up the meanings of each name, my dog’s name means (in full):

Blessed Lion Friend Of Scottish Origin

Which is funny because he’s a dog.

But my Benny Scott confused dog-lion friend is mine and may be species confused but will never be confused for anyone else’s 😀

Thank’s all 😀

Achoo!!! A Thought.

I hate it when you sneeze and aren’t prepared for it. Or you ARE prepared for it in the last second, and still turn away from sneezing on anyone/thing you shouldn’t. It’s good you don’t sneeze on a friend/stranger or your computer screen, but you always end up sneezing on yourself.

Mostly I just hate sneezing down my shirt.

I don’t know if guys have this issue, but I know that most don’t know the ick-inducing sensation of sneeze wetness on your sternum and between your boobs.

More girls have boobs than guys, right? Right.

And there’s no delicate way to wipe that, and I always end up looking down like it may have shown up on my chest like silly string or something else equally appealing. No way to hide that.

I also hate it when I sneeze, and tears leak from my eyes.

Guaranteed, one of two things will happen.

1. It will land on the lens of my glasses.

2. It will make me look like I’m starting to cry.

Sometimes both happen.

Then I look like I should be pitied as I clean my glasses, leaving me blind to the number of people looking at me and feeling pity for the poor girl with dirty glasses.

Just my thoughts on something my body occasionally forces me to do.

Bless you

The Difference Between a Writer and an Actor: The Muse

I think that there is a reason that Actors and Directors and whatever end up doing what they do, and writers and script writers end up doing what they do.

I think it’s mainly the mindset of the person in question, when their muse kicks them in the face.

Two people are thinking. They are, for some reason, thinking of a fight scene.

Perhaps those two people are angry at someone for eating their cereal (perhaps even their roommates), or are in a bad mood because of exams and in their inner imagination, imaginary them is kicking imaginary Exam’s ass all across a papery, lead smudged landscape. Either way, one imaginary character is beating up another imaginary character.

Your Muse is one character. There is no choice in this, it is just so.

Sometimes you are in the mindset of your Muse character, YOU are the muse. In imaginary situations like these, you are working with your Muse towards an ultimate creative goal, towards that intensely interesting idea or image that’s been niggling at the back of your mind for a while now. Like the idea to mix Baileys and eggnog, or to go to BulkBarn and buy a lot of wafer sticks and chocolate to try to make a gigantic KitKat bar… The other is some other representation.

Sometimes you are the referee in the fight, or just a spectator. As a referee, you can stop and rewind the match, redo parts if you will. As a spectator you’re letting things go on, rooting for your Muse against this imaginary menace. In this situation you are reviewing ideas you’ve had for a while, pairing them together with other ideas that you’ve had at some point.

Occasionally you are facing your Muse. It is in these situations that it is actually your Muse who initiates this daydream. It is in these situations you wish you hadn’t always imagined your Muse as such a bad-ass. This situation arises when you have been neglecting your Muse, and haven’t been letting the creative juices flowing.

To get these creative juices flowing, your muse will kick you in the face.

Watch as the juices flow.

But back to the two people.

Regardless of what sort of match up this is, these two people see an amazing move, something realistic that looks too cool to NOT be expressed in some way.

So, Person Z starts thinking about how they could possibly imitate that move, how they could possibly train for it. If Person Z has training in some sort of fighting, they will think about the other moves that they could possibly combine to do that move, they will try looking up fake fighting techniques (on Google or YouTube or anything else) to see if they could incorporate anything into pulling this off. They might also then imagine themselves pulling the move off in some sort of dramatic play or something.

Person 26, on the other hand, will think about how they could possibly describe that move. Those combinations of actions. How could they write it in such a way that the reader could fill in any gaps, how could they make it so that it wouldn’t seem stunted or stuttering, choppy? Person 26 will try writing it down to edit later, and/or will try reading or watching something with an action scene in it, to get their mind working in such a way that they will be able to write this action, or actions, in a way that flows. They will try to imagine what kind of plot they could use this in.

To show that I didn’t have any preference between the two, I didn’t name them A and B or 1 and 2 or X and Y or anything else that has a first one and then the other kind of connotation or connection.

Person Z is the actor, and Person 26 is the writer.

While the two may mix (example: John Green [writer] and his sort-of acting on a vlog [Brotherhood 2.0 or vlogbrothers]), your muse will, in some way, prefer to have you try to express the ideas they promote in SOME way, eventually.

I realized this a little earlier, while daydreaming in between studying, and realized that somewhere someone else is probably having a daydream as well, and might be thinking about acting it out instead of writing it out like I was thinking of doing.

I realize that from my title I’m kind of implying that the difference between an actor and a writer is their Muse, but everyone’s Muse is similar. It’s just the way that people use and react to their muses that’s different.

Muses will become lazy, or overactive, or will have a muse crash, or will be suddenly into that genre that you don’t actually like or write or whatever that often, or will be so into a certain thing that you end up blowing off other things to try to get it out of your and your Muses systems…

And I’m not trying to say that your Muse will always show you things via intense fighting, but I am saying that your muse, if you ignore it will kick you in the face.

Ka-POW! The creative juices are now flowing. (you are not the Zebra, you are the lion that just got pwned)

P.S. Update on studying: IT SUCKS! But is getting done. It is the shit hitting the fan in my mind. It’s everywhere.